It's always Greener on my seid!

I really don’t like you…

I never thought that blogging would relieve so much stress. I apologize in advance if I clog up your newsfeed?, home screen?, dashboard?, whatever the fuck it’s called. 

Let me give you the background on this fucker. We met in middle school and we were friends. He would text me about the girls he liked and why he liked them. He would ask me why they didn’t like him back. Of course, I was nice and lied and just said “I don’t know maybe because they’re stupid and won’t realize how cool you really are.” But that was actually pretty harsh to what I use to say. I sugar coated that shit up the wall. So, we finished middle school and he would ask me to “kiss” him in the hallways. No fuck that shit I ain’t a whore. I was slutty in middle school- I had a lot of boyfriends. Ya know, miss popular? No, I was just a slut and that’s what made me popular because I actually touched a penis woooohooo. But no, this kid was fugly and I just wanted to be friends. 

So let’s jump start to high school, Freshman year sucked ass. I hated everyone, didn’t have a boyfriend because I was so madly in love with this one dipshit who basically took my heart out and stomped all over it. So the one fucker I was talking about from middle school miraculously got my phone number after deleting it for some odd reason? And wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. Yes, I admit, I loved the attention until that one day… I opened a picture message of your chode. Yeah, I totally just called you out on tumblr. mwahaha. The first time was a shocker, second time I was disgusted, third time…”vom”, and all the times after that I just ignored your texts. Until Junior year… Hey dude, wanna know a secret, our whole graduating class has seen your penis. So this one night I think the summer before senior year, my cousin, my friends, and all of steak and shake were really drunk and by drunk I mean I was sober and everyone else was plastered. So you were texting me and when I answer you it’s because I’m in a good mood for that minute. NOT FOR THE 8 HOURS YOU TEXT ME FOR. So of course I led you on until I got a dick pic. Guess what? Everyone saw that dick pic. 

Ok, so when I got to college I thought “Yes! I can finally get away from this fucktard” but boy was I wrong. You don’t stop texting me and when I tell you I’m studying for finals or taking a final THAT MEANS IM NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOU. My boyfriend hates you because you’re annoying and has taken my phone to curse you out but I’m too nice to let that happen to you. Get over me. I don’t like you and I don’t want to have sex with you.

I’m not answering any of your texts from now on so stop trying. BYE. 

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Deactivated Facebook

Since I have no facebook to stalk or a reason to stress about certain posts, I feel as though I have the ability to do whatever the fuck I want. It’s finals week and I knew that I would be stressed up the asshole with work, so now I don’t have to listen to any of your annoying shit on facebook anymore. Yes, my boyfriend’s upset he can’t stalk me, but I’ll just send you nudes instead. Totally kidding- only girls with mommy and daddy problems send nudes. Speaking of nudes, if you’ve ever sent them, there’s a new program that colleges and businesses are buying that if they type in your name/phone number anything you have sent or put online will come up with a date and time. Sucks for all you whores. Speaking of whores, I was stalking people from my high school, mostly the GDIs, and I realized that all these bitches have not changed. I know it’s been a year, but come on, grow the fuck up. “Let’s put pictures up of us holding red solo cups and looking plastered as fuckkk” “Omg… last night…” “holy shit, I don’t remember anything from last night” COOL WHO FUCKING CARES. that’s why you’re a GDI senor. 

Ok, so back to the real reason why I’m deciding to blog, or whatever the fuck this is called, I don’t feel like finishing my essay that’s due Wednesday night at 8. Honestly, I have 7 pages written already, almost 2100 words, way over my max, AND I still have to add in more research. Fuck research papers. Guess what prof, I’m gonna go over the max and I don’t give a fuck about what you say. I have an A anyway. Actually JK I have a 92% and if I fail this paper, I’ll get a B, and if I get a B, my GPA drops, and if my GPA drops, I’ll be put on academic probation for the sorority and lose everything! Jk, I’ll still have the love of my life so I don’t really care. 

Oh and I’ve had this pounding headache for 2 days now. It won’t go away! I’ve taken advil, tried taking a nap, nope, nothing works. Serious FML right there. Well I hope you all enjoyed this great blog and don’t hate me for wasting the 2 minutes of your life you’ll never get back because you read this shit. 

Besos, love you all, gonna go do my essay, AND PASS THE FUCK OUT.

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